Year 3: Day 32: New Year's Week

Sorry haven't written much but with the holidays, family visiting, us traveling to visit friends...well, blogging was low on the list.

It has been a wonderful holiday week and I know I am going to enjoy New Year's Eve as well...but why is it every year I feel an overwhelming compulsion to make resolutions????

Resolutions rarely hold. I set a goal, work on it for a week or two and then it slowly fades away. I recently read somewhere that week 3 is the hardest week for people attempting to stick with a goal like exercising more or eating better. I find that fascinating...why week 3? Don't have an answer on that one...oh, well.

What I do have is a lot of musings in my head.

I know that simply setting a goal is not enough to motivate me.

I know that setting a goal and putting a reward (carrot) at the end is not enough to motivate me.

I know that setting a goal, having a reward and having a way to mark off the accomplishment (like writing this blog or simply putting a check box on a chart) is not enough to motivate me, but it does keep me going once the motivation wears off.

If you throw in a competition - some kind of point system than that is sometimes enough to motivate me, but it helps a ton to keep me going (even past that elusive 3 week hump).

I've decided that each person is probably motivated different (duh, we are all unique!) and each of us have our preferred way to keep ourselves on track (again, duh!).

The trick is knowing what works for you.

Some people like carrots. Ex: If I lose a certain amount of weight than I will treat myself to a new outfit.

Some people like the buddy system where everyone is encouraging each other - which is why online sites are so popular because lets face it, not everyone has a circle of friends & family that will be a cheerleader.

Neither one of those work for me.

I know, weird, right? In fact, I have not found a carrot shiny enough to get me to do what I know I should do when I don't want to do it.

Also, when I start to reach a weight goal and am looking good (yeah, I'm a little vain...so sue me), if someone is kind enough to compliment me on it....well, I stop working toward the goal. It is like my brain hears the compliment and thinks, "Oh, I'm done. I got the notice. Okay, back to eating junk food!"

I have thought about the times in my life where I was able to keep a goal a long term....even to the point of completing a goal (like finishing college or walking for a year).

I have to be stubborn about the goal and feel like I am showing someone I can do it even when they think I can't do it.

Dated a guy in high school that flipped out I wanted to go to college. He became a real pain. Even went to far by telling me I couldn't go to college & he would stop me. Um, yeah. Dumped the guy, but also basically said, "Hell, no. I'm not giving that up for you or for anyone else." So, put myself through college (with mom & dad helping) and got my bachelors degree.

Another time I was working a job as a reporter. My particular job title was a rotating type job - meaning there were a ton of people who started & quit. Now, almost twenty years later I realize the real problem was the Editor and other management staff for not doing a better job of training/mentoring the new reporters, but at the time....well, I was determined that the other reporters would not run me out the door until I was good & ready to leave. I stuck it out for an entire year. Pretty proud of myself for being the kind of reporter I wanted to be and I left on my own terms....not theirs.

Even walking for a year started out as a way for me to prove my doctor wrong. In this case, he was more right than me, but the point is I started the goal & kept at it to prove something.

I've concluded that I do far better with negative motivation.

I hear all the time, you can never have the body you had before children. Okay....but I see and know people who are in great shape after having children. Why can't I be that person?

I hear all the time that because I am chesty (and I am rather large in that area) that I can never be slim. Why???? I was slim in my 20s and had a chest then? Why should it be different know that I am in my 40s?

Basically, I realized this past week that I really want to prove people wrong about me and my body.

One, I am tired of people making comments about my body like that is an okay thing to do. It has been happening since puberty and I am, quite frankly, tired of it.

Two, I am tired of people making general statements and applying them to me without finding out the facts about my life, my body, my health, my history first.

Third, I am tired of people projecting their own insecurities, their own fears, their own problems, shortcomings and downfalls on to me. I am my own person.

I jokingly asked my husband to not compliment me anymore and to occasionally give me some negative motivation. He politely declined. Okay, not surprised that he decline. So, instead, I am writing out everything that has ever been said to me and posting them on my closet mirror (I have the sliding kind, so my list will be the back mirror that stays hidden for the most part). Whenever I feel complacent, lazy or that I have "made it" and can quite trying, I am going to read my list.

It might not be ideal, but I am hopeful it will work....work long enough to get me past week 3 and month 3 and well into another year.

Happy Journey!