Day 3 - Dedication

Dedication is a funny thing to discuss on the third day of my journey, but it was on my mind today as I walked.

First, I didn't want to walk today. It is Saturday - I wanted to do nothing! But doing nothing is kind of what got me into this mess. What mess? The "cholesterol is high, can't get a good night's sleep, body has too many aches & pains, clothes don't fit, and my face is still breaking out" mess!

When I woke up this morning I did not have a plan for today, well, the only plan was to take the children to see "Rise of the Guardians" (good movie, btw). I slept in and I didn't have a plan. Not a good combination for me. You see, I am a planner & an organizer. I love having routines & schedules. I have learned to be flexible enough over the years to be spontaneous, but I can't be spontaneous every day - ugh, that would drive me nuts!

So...no plan, but a vague notion that I really need to get my walk in. I mean, if I fail to walk on my third day in than perhaps I won't walk on the fourth or the fifth or the sixth or...well, you get the point. Starting something is fairly easy - sticking with it, well, that is a whole other thing.

A few weeks back, a wonderful friend and I were chatting before church started; we were giggling over our lack of follow through. I had mentioned that I did not understand comments like, "I can do anything for two weeks". I have tried to do things for just two weeks (like eat a very specific diet) and will fall short a day or two before it ends. It was funny at the time, but it really kind of bothers me. Am I the kind of person who can't follow through? Or do I only follow through on the items that I see as important?

I think it is the latter. Some examples: Happily married for almost 15 years - that takes determination and follow through; home schooling my 3 children - that takes determination and follow through (especially when I hear a lot of "I don't want to"); nursing all 3 children for a year or more; choosing to be a stay-at-home mom; going to church with the children in tow and the husband home...All hard things to do. All important things to do. All things that take determination and follow through (and maybe a good sense of humor as well).

So why do I continually fall down short when it comes to eating healthy and exercising?

Personally I think it is because I dislike the words diet and exercise. I want to eat what I want when I want and how I want....and I can, I just need to learn to eat slower, eat less of the "not so good" and more of the "really good".

As for exercise...well, I love to dance, swim, bike ride and walk. I would love to learn how to play tennis really well. Not crazy about weight lifting. At one time I was pretty decent at volleyball. But here is the thing, I don't see any of those things as exercise. I know, I know, I know - all of those things are exercise, but exercise to me is boring. Exercise to me, requires special equipment and special clothes and maybe, even, a special instructor. Also (and this is painful to admit), I don't see the things that I enjoy as legitimate ways to lose weight and get into shape. For exercise to be legitimate it needs to be attached to something huge - like a marathon; or painful - like an intense aerobic class; or boring - like a baseball game. Why do I think that? I have absolutely no idea.

I think I mentioned in my first post that my doctor told me to lose weight. He said that if I were to walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week that I would lose the 10-15 pounds I need to lose. He also said walking is something I could do for the rest of my life. Hehehehe - I guess walking has become legitimate since I have a doctor "prescribing" it to me.

Now, I just have to decide that my health & wellness is worth the time & effort. I need to decide to be determined & follow through on walking like I have on so many other areas in my life.

By now you are probably wondering what I did today. I walked..for 30 minutes..at the store. I should have snapped a picture, but I didn't think about it! After the movie, I needed to go grocery shopping and I knew that once home I would not go out again. I chose to shop at Meijer (a Wal-mart type store). I walked the perimeter of the store (inside) for 30 minutes. I dodged families, carts & workers. I vaguely wondered if people noticed that I was walking the store instead of shopping, but I walked anyway.

That might not sound much like determination, but for me it was. I knew I needed to walk and I found a way to do it - even if I did look a tad dorky.