Day 7 & 8, 2024: Showers and goals

 In one of my first posts, I mentioned working on my goals while practicing radical acceptance. 

This is a good thing. 

It just becomes so much harder when you throw in grief, depression, and a lifetime of putting yourself down - without realizing it.

One of my goals is to be more consistent with my personal hygiene. 

No, I am not walking around stinky...at least I don't think I stink.

I usually go three days between washing my hair. I always shower when I wash my hair. I shower if I have worked out. If I stayed all day in my pj's then a shower usually didn't happen.

But here is the thing. I used to love showering.

Showering was less about cleanliness and more about pampering.

I used a Japanese Washcloth (a type of loofah) daily because I loved how it made my skin feel.

After a relaxing shower, I used a dab of mineral oil (baby oil) to moisturize my skin before putting on my lotion.

I had a set routine for my face.

Shaving was used to inspect my legs and underarms. And this led to quick self-breast exams.

I even gave myself a quick manicure and pedicure every week.

Showering was the anchor for all of that.

Now?

Not so much.

I don't dread taking a shower. I just don't get the same pleasure from it. 

My shower no longer anchors the rest of my beauty routine.

And the only reason I can think of is.. depression.

I am happy to say that I have showered every day this week and have used lotion after each shower. It is progress. 

But will I ever find the pleasure again?

I don't know.

Until then I have a chart. I mark off what I have done and on what day.

What was once easy is now hard and tracking will make it easy again one day. Maybe?

All of my goals are like that.

Thank you for joining me on my journey!