Day 9, 10, 11, & 12, 2024: Oops! thank goodness today is July 1st!

 Good Morning!

I didn't realize I went that many days without writing.

I wrote a ton in my head. 

Do you ever do that? Write and create in your head but simply don't write it down?

I do it all the time.

But that is me. And I am accepting it.

Today is a new day... a new dawn... aren't those the words in a Michae Buble song?

I have spent three days running errands, cleaning, and doing laundry. The errands and laundry happened even on my most depressed days. But cleaning...? yeah, it went the wayside.

There is satisfaction in working so hard that your feet ache at the end of the day. Walking up to muscles sore and (more importantly) a clean house.

In some ways it is more satisfying cleaning a bathtub when you can see the soap scum than when you are cleaning it for maintenance - in other words, you clean it so it always looks clean.

Is that weird?

I would rather ignore my house for a month and then slave for three days to see the satisfaction of dirt and grime coming off sinks, mirrors, counters, the shower, etc.

It is weird. And a little stupid. Okay, not stupid. Trying to change how I talk about myself. How about... a little counterproductive? counter-intuitive? makes things harder?

Certainly goes against what I have tried to teach my children: do a task that takes 5 minutes so you don't have to spend an hour doing the same thing.

I should listen to myself more. Hah!

Now it is Monday morning. The beginning of a new week and a new month. How do I keep from falling back into bad habits? how do I keep from giving in to the grief and depression that always seems to be under the surface? How do I keep myself productive? How do I not procrastinate?

These have been the questions for most of my life.

It was a lot easier when I was a kid and my mom decided when things had to be done. And if the chores didn't get done, then I didn't get to see my friends. Seeing my friends was a huge motivation.

It was also easier when I raised my children because I knew it was important for them to have consistency in their life and they needed to learn the importance of work.

Now it is just me.

Well, my children live at home as young adults. They have their chores. I no longer tell them when to do the chores or how to do them. That is up to them. In some ways, they are more consistent than I am.

No, it is just me for cleaning my bedroom and bathroom. Never thought that would be a hard task. (I do need to mention that my husband will jump in and help when he isn't working. But I am the one that spearheads the cleaning. Probably because it bothers me sooner than it does him? I don't know. Doesn't matter. No one complains at my house. I could continue to explain this, but everyone will think about my husband what they want, and how we divide the work of the home. I need to accept that).

This is getting long. The next time I write I will talk about how I love charts and organizing strategies and how it usually helps me stay on track.

Hope you are enjoying the journey!