Day 71: Bed bugs in pictures

Not to worry, no actual pictures of bed bugs, just pictures of our house right after it was all dismantled and ready for the exterminator. I asked the children to take the pictures, the last two I took.

Bed bugs like books -especially hard back books where they can crawl into the spine of the book. We carefully checked all of our books in our rooms, bagged them & then brought them down to our school room to store. School has been drastically reduced as a result of not being able to access everything.

This is our sun/mud room...basically, it was the front porch then a previous owner chose to enclose it - it is absolutely frigid in the winter time! Bed bugs can not survive extreme temperatures; however, to freeze them they must go to "comfortable" temp to "extreme" cold to die. If the temperature slowly drops to freezing than the little buggers just hibernate. Did I mention they can live without food (your blood) for a year? Anyway, we had to disinfect all belongings that we did not want sprayed with the exterminators chemical, bag the items & then stored away from infected rooms. We chose the sun/mud room for the majority of our belongings - temp was frigid the day we bagged items (hopefully cold enough & quick enough to kill the little pests).

Temporary sleeping quarters for the whole family - our family room. S & I shared an air mattress, K on the couch, Z & Steve took turns sleeping on the floor or on the extra air mattress. We have since this picture bought an additional air mattress so no one will have to sleep on the floor in the future.

All of our clothes, towels, sheets, linens, etc. had to be washed & dried on the hottest (and longest) setting. All items had to be bagged & then stored away from infected rooms. This is behind our couch - all of our clothes (well everything that was done thus far).

This is Z's room. Pictures off the walls, mirror off the dresser, all furniture stacked in middle of room, beds stripped, vacuumed & standing up...it was a lot of work.

Another view of Z's room

This is the girl's room

My room

My room - the pillow & slippers had to be washed, dried & bagged as well. We chose to move the electronics as we were unsure what the chemicals would do to the electronics.

Ever wonder if your children have too many stuff animals? I have proof. Every bag is filled with stuff animals. They are still waiting for their turn to be washed & dried. I have told my children if the stuff animal can not survive at the minimum a full hour on the hottest setting in the dryer than the stuff animal is being thrown away. I really just want to throw away any stuff animal that can not be washed, but...I was over ridden. oh well. Oh, this is in our storage room in our basement.

My laundry room. This actually  looks pretty good. This is what it looked like the day the exterminator came to spray the rooms. It was a lot worse the 3 or 4 days before! However, I am still doing a ton of laundry...although I think I am down to only having 3 bags left (they are not pictured).

When I see all the bags of stuff, I feel overwhelmed. I also feel slightly disgusted that we have so many belongings. And I feel pretty proud of my children for working so hard. We have been saying through this whole thing it is like moving, but in the worst possible sort of way.

Deep down I am amazed I chose to continue stretching & walking while all of this was going on. We are slowly unpacking bags -  I am not in any hurry. And because I chose to continue walking through all of this, I am still walking! Stopping and starting is soooo much harder than continuing. I like continuing...now if I could just apply that to school!!!!

Happy Walking!

Day 70: Emergency funds

This was taken by S yesterday.
 

When striving to get out of debt, one of the main suggestions I have seen is build a $1,000.00 emergency fund. The idea is that if you have a thousand dollars in savings for emergencies then the emergencies seem to "disappear."

I have put this suggestion to the test and know it to be true. Emergencies do not disappear, but the ability to manage real emergencies, wants, needs  and stay in that budget gets easier and easier.

I am probably not explaining this very well, but basically once you have the money in place it is no longer a huge crisis/emergency every time something pops up - because you have a plan in place.

This walking journey is showing me that the concept of an emergency fund can actually be applied to many different areas of our lives.

I have gone through a crazy month, but was able to continue to walk (and stretch) because I had a plan in place...I had my "exercise emergency fund".

What I did not have in place is my house work emergency fund nor my homeschooling emergency fund in place...which means that I have truly struggled with those two areas since all of the craziness of bed bugs. Yet, I have managed to  keep cooking meals- because I have an emergency fund plan in place for that!

Why do I mention this? Because my van decided to start having engine problems (not to worry, we have the money to fix it and/or buy a new one). But I won't be able to go back to the mall as soon as I wanted. I am anxious to either walk at the mall or outside or anywhere but at home. I am anxious to have a really good reason to get out of the bed in the morning. I am anxious to have a good house keeping plan and jump into home schooling with two feet.

What I need is a plan. A personal emergency fund that encompasses more than walking. Just like getting out of debt, it will take time, hard work and a plan.

Happy Walking! 

Day 69: A little warmer...

I believe K took this picture when we returned home from our walk.

Funny how a little change in weather can make a huge difference!

Not sure how "warm" it got today, but since it was not "bone chilling cold" we went for a walk.

We loved it!

I did not realize how bad we had cabin fever! The children were running. I was smiling. It felt so good to see the sky, smell the air, feel the wind...even if it was over cast. How refreshing.

Day 68: Monday, Monday...

How many songs are out there about Monday?

I can think of two:

The Mama's & The Papa's: Monday, Monday (love this song)

andThe Bangles': "Manic Monday"

I gotta tell ya...both songs fit today.

Let's just roll back time and go back to Sunday. Let's forget Monday all together, because whenever it rolls around there is heartache!

I said yesterday that I felt like I was starting all over...and I did. I continually forget that my son has a hard time with change...well, to be more accurate, he has a hard time if the change messes with a long established schedule OR if it messes with a short period of "too much freedom".

He has had too much freedom this last month. We did a reduced school and a reduced work schedule for the majority of the time because my work/clean/laundry schedule was severely increased.

He was not happy that I expected a full day of work & learning.

Ah well, tomorrow will be better. How do I know, well, if nothing else, I have learned on this walking journey that the first day is the hardest. It does get easier - the tests of commitment & determination come hard & fast, but the actual first day is the hardest day.

I just need to (re)commit to school. Which is actually easy....just not easy for everyone!

Happy Walking!

Day 67: Feels like a starting over...

I know it is odd, I have been walking and posting for 67 days, but it has been a month since I have been able to "do" my full routine. I am excited and a little nervous.

Once the walking, stretching and cleaning is done...then what???? I know it will be filled with homeschooling activities and little things I couldn't do before -  like downloading my camera & start posting pictures.

But honestly, I feel like I am starting over or starting a new journey or maybe, just ready to step back onto the highway of journeys. I never broke my commitment to walk and post, which I am grateful for; however, my life is not progressing the way I envisioned.

Heheheheh, looks like I have some more learning & understanding what this whole "life is a journey" thing is all about.

Day 66: What I love about follow through

The title should really be: What I love about commitment, dedication & follow through

Seemed a bit long though...

While I took a long (and much deserved) bath today (thanks Aunt Marilyn!), I pondered this past month. I have whined, complained, cried, joked, laughed and gotten angry over the bed bug battle. I have whined, complained, attempted to suffer in silence, been annoyed (with myself) over my very sore back & hip.

And guess what? I don't like being that person!

Later in the day, I did my stretches. I am not very flexible, but I was not sore. No aches. No pain. Just muscles that are a little tight & need to be stretched...more. As I reflected on this, I realized that most of this week I have not been sore. I have moved belongings, lunged the vacuum up the stairs, moved beds and a ton of other activities along with walking and stretching.

Does that mean I can quit stretching? No! Does that mean I can quit walking? No!

I have a bad habit of noticing something is working and then quitting. I also have a bad habit of getting a compliment on my results and/or hard work and then quitting.

I truly hope I won't this time.

Because what I love about commitment, dedication & follow through is that it works. I might have moved slower at times. I might have been reduced to marching in place or finding odd places in public to walk or even a limited number of stretches...but it all worked!

I feel great. Can you imagine what I might feel like when I finish this year?

In my head I sometimes see myself doing the splits or a cartwheel (which is actually funny since I never learned to do those things in the first place), but the fact that I can feel the potential in my muscles...and that my muscles want to reach that potential is pretty incredible.

I love how I feel today.

Day 65: Gratitudes for Friday, 6

I think I missed last week...perhaps that is why I had such a tough time seeing the positive of my experience this past week? Things that make you go hmmm...

1. Unexpected gifts & surprises. Today in the mail a package came for me. A completely unexpected surprise. I love surprises! It was a gift from my Aunt Marilyn (thank you!) who was thinking of me. She sent me a wonderful bath set...I can't wait to use it!!! Maybe tonight - well sometime this weekend Steve is herding the children away from me & I am going to take a very long soak in the tub. I can't wait!

2. My mother who is by far the most patient person I know and a great listener. She is probably shaking her head and saying no, but it is true. Growing up it seemed that no matter where we lived, what crazy house we had or what extreme weather we had to suffer through - my mom did not complain. To this day I have no idea what she really thought of the many different places that we lived; especially Saipan with the bugs, heat & typhoons. (For full disclosure she did mention once that she preferred Arizona's sky - where nothing obstructs your view - to Eastern Kentucky's sky - where mountains obstructed everything. My mom said the hills made her feel closed in).
She is a great listener because every time I have a mini-crisis (Post partum Depression, Fleas, Lice, Bed Bugs, etc...) she is always there for me to cry too. So many people tell me they don't know how I do it. Well, the secret is my mom. I call her up, cry and then move on with the work. Thanks, mom.

3. The opportunity the Lord gave our family to work together. One of my favorite movies is "Evan Almighty". In the movie, Evan prays to change the world. His wife prays the family can be closer. what ensues is hilarious, but also full of life lessons. Evan wants to change the world, but not just in the way God wants to do it. (BTW, when a character in a movie or book is suppose to be Heavenly Father do we still spell it with a capital letter, as in God, or do we use the lower case form, as in god?) God gives Evan what seems an impossible task and God also finds "fun" ways for Evan to become more concerned with others than with his looks.
On the other side, Evan's wife believes Evan is having a mental break down & is trying to destroy the family. What she fails to see is that the "new" Evan is working & playing with his 3 sons. God has a conversation with the wife (sorry can't remember her name) where he says that when we pray for patience He doesn't just give us patience, but opportunities to become more patience. When we pray to be closer as a family He will give us opportunities to become closer. The lesson helps the wife return to Evan & help him build the ark (like as in Noah's ark).
That is what happened with me. I have been joking that I feel like Pharaoh - a plague sent my way! But unlike Pharaoh I did not have any "people" to let go.
Monday, as we worked together and played together; I marveled at how well my children were doing. They didn't whine. They didn't ask for breaks. They moved at a slow pace, but they steadily worked until the job was done.
For a long time, I have wanted my children to learn the value of hard work, but didn't know how to do it - we don't own a farm, there are no cows or other barn yard animals to care for. But battling bed bugs is hard work. Moving is hard work. Battling lice is hard work. All things we did as a family in the last 2 years. I think it is safe to say, God heard & answered my prayer. I am thankful for that opportunity. I also sincerely hope that I can keep up the routine of "hard work" without any more plagues.

4. My children for being good sports through this whole bed bug battle. No one freaked out about bites, or bed bugs, or camping "in" (they have been sleeping down stairs & living out of plastic bags since last Friday), or all day work sessions, or even pulling apart their rooms 3 different times. They are great children and I love them.

5. A clean desk!!!! Things always get disorganized during the holidays, but I never cleaned up or recovered from Christmas because of the bed bug war. Today, was the first day, I felt I could take the time to clean my desk. It has been dusted and reorganized. It  is like an oasis in a desert, a breath of fresh air, like finding the missing piece to a puzzle...basically a little bit of heaven or piece of mind in a home that is still chaotic (although we are making slow progress back to normal).

Day 64: Sick...& tired

Quick note tonight. I walked, I stretched...and I am sick & tired.

Sick because I stayed cold for too long on Tuesday; tired because last night the children and I finally celebrated my birthday with our tradition of a slumber party. The birthday boy or girl picks the movie & the munchies. I chose "South Pacific" and we munched on Halloween candy & popcorn (I know it is weird to have Halloween candy in January, but my children are really great about only have a piece a day or even skipping days. Last night was a huge treat - they each got 5 pieces of candy.

Day 63: Weird, Weird, Weird

Life has just been weird since the bed bugs hit our home, but it has been intensely weird since yesterday.

First, I am very thankful my husband replaced all of our electrical plates & light switch plates and hooked our Internet up last night - this was after being at work all day & then attending the pine wood derby, all without being allowed to come home.

I sat up last night  to post, but it saved it as a draft instead of a post. Weird. I obviously was not thinking straight!

Today, I have felt completely out of step. Little things have bothered me. I have taken offense to things that are truly not important. And I can feel a very strong, irrational irritation rising inside of me.

If I bother to check the calendar I would probably see it has something to do with my cycle...not that I use that as an excuse, but I tend to have pretty strong PMS. Sigh. The joys of being a woman. (please read that last as very sarcastic).

But I know the real, underlying problem - I did not wake up on time this morning to take care of me. I didn't stretch or walk first thing. I didn't take a quiet moment to read my scriptures or say my prayers. Yes, I did all of those things later, but...they are not as grounding when I do them later.

My  big excuse? It was still very cold in our house - the heat had to be off all day yesterday and we are having weather around the 10 degree Fahrenheit....it was sooooo cold last night. One of the few times I was thankful to have my youngest cuddled up next to me (she gives off heat like a furnace!).

Hopefully, this is lesson learned and I will get up on time no matter what....Well, we shall see.

Day 62: How to be a dork

We had to be out of the house today for 6 hours...what to do when you live in a state that is bone cold because it is the middle of winter? Head to the Children's Museum!

Our children's museum has an area where you can eat lunch, but children can still play, learn, explore and discover. We treated ourselves to lunchables, ate at the museum and stayed for 4 hours. The children loved it. Our museum has 3 floors and we hit all 3 floors. I personally think we could have stayed longer, but it was time for dinner & then the cub scout pine wood derby.

So how can you be a dork when you spend the day at a children's museum? Well, simple really, you walk briskly for 30 minutes!

On the top floor of the museum is an interactive music/dance exhibit. I have no idea how it is done - lights, mirrors, etc.. but while some funky latin music is piped into the room, your shadow (done as an outline or different colors) is projected onto a wall. My oldest loves this room. She will spend the whole time there if I let her.

Today, I joined her. She tried to make funky pictures on the wall, I walked...well, dance walked. I probably worked harder doing that than I have walking the halls at my house. It was fun.

I did get busted right at the very end. One of the ladies from church was there with her children (no school today), she spotted me & jokingly asked if I was exercising - I had to say yes! Even though I felt dorky, it felt better to get my time in.

And yes, I stretched. I just woke up extra early this morning to have the time to get it in.

The house stinks a little bit from the spraying, but hopefully our bed bug plight is over and done with.Sadly, only time will tell...actually that is true of my walking efforts as well!

Day 61: Bone Tired

I am bone tired.

We still have a little bit of work left to do, but I think the children and I can handle it in the morning. The exterminator does not come until 11am.

I am praying this works.

I did stretch this morning. It helped a lot - hardly felt any soreness all day as I carried, pulled and worked all my muscles.

Walking was a little odd. I honestly did not feel like I had the time, but I did give the children a 5 minute break every hour - so I walked as fast as I could on each 5 minute break. The last 10 minutes ore so I did at the end of the day. I can't believe I got it all in.

Hopefully, I will sleep good tonight.

Day 60: I like a house of order...

There is a scripture that I love:

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;" Doctrine & Covenants 109:8

I am an organizing kind of gal. I love to plan. I love to rearrange, I love to organize - give me a messy closet & I am a happy camper as I slowly make order out of the chaos...of course, I prefer the order & organization to stay put, but that never seems to happen in life. Hmmm, but I digress.

I love this scripture because I feel that it is something tangible that I can apply to my life. A house of prayer? no problem, I will pray more, teach my children to pray, pray as a family, etc... A house of fasting? a little harder, but I am given the opportunity once a month at church and have certainly chosen to fast during times of important decisions. A house of learning - well, if homeschooling doesn't count for this than I don't know what does! A house of glory...still not 100% sure on this one, but we strive to put God first and give the credit & glory to him. A house of God...again, we try to put him first: start & end our day with God; attend church; serve others, etc... A house of order...ah, my kind of house.

I have always assumed that a house of order means just that...a house that is orderly. You know, clean & organized. One that runs smoothly. I mean, it is kind of a no brainer.

However, I recently heard a comment that has had me thinking for a while. What if a house of order means more about having our priorities in order and less about how clean our house is? Hmmm...well, that is a little tougher and something that I truly struggle with!

Priorities? You mean, like focusing my time and energy on the important things instead of playing Sudoku all day? You mean, ensuring that my time, energy and talents are used to serve my family, church and God instead of mindlessly watching reruns of "Castle"?

So, I decided to try a little experiment - put my focus and energy on other things instead of the house. yes, laundry and dishes done every day. yes, do a quick pick up every night and even a quick swipe of the bathroom daily, but basically stop worrying about spring cleaning. Stop worrying about scouring the toilet. Stop worrying about what is accumulating on my children's floors, under their beds and in their closets.

How did my experiment go? Well, pretty good. I wasn't nagging at the children as much. I was learning to spend more time playing, reading and learning instead of cleaning. (My favorite quote from my oldest is "yeah, mom is all clean, clean, clean, blah, blah, blah".)

But today, as I am sitting in a disaster zone of a house, I have to say there must be a balance between my idea of a house of order and the idea of house with the right priorities.

All of our clothes are either in bags waiting to be washed or in bags waiting to be worn. The majority of toys, books and other belongings are in bags waiting to be re-introduced to rooms (with me desperately hoping that I didn't bring down a ton of bed bugs to other parts of the house). Children's bedrooms are a disaster. My family area looks like a slumber party prolonged for one day to long.

I feel at odds in a house that I already feel at odds with. I feel uncomfortable, I feel stressed, I feel overwhelmed and I feel chaotic - I hate chaos.

Do I need to spring clean every 6 months? Maybe  not, but I should probably weed out belongings often enough that I am not packing up a year's worth of papers without even knowing what is in them, but to scared to just throw them away. I need to teach my children how to do the little cleaning and the big cleaning so the next plague or disaster that comes our way they are prepared to help and/or put the longer hours in (side note: my oldest is doing an awesome job of working and carefully taking care of her belongings, which I really appreciate).

What does this have to do with my journey? A lot.

I have been debating with myself for awhile if I could skip the walk & stretch until this is all over. I have been wondering if I can justify the time.

This morning, as I stretched, I felt irritated. Irritated that there was not a clean spot to work. Irritated that my normal quiet spots were full of children and/or belongings. I felt irritated that something no bigger than an apple seed could disrupt my home so completely.

I am going to keep walking and stretching. I have to. If I don't, I might not go back to doing it for a really long time. I am afraid that I will find something else too hard or too messy or too chaotic to overcome.

But when this is all over...my house of order is going to be both priorities and cleanliness.

Day 59: More of the same

Today was spent walking, stretching, cleaning and doing laundry.

In my son's words: This better work (to get rid of bed bugs) or I am going to be annoyed.

Yes, my 3rd time to pull apart rooms (this time I get to add in my bedroom & the bathrooms) and the 2nd time to wash all of my children's clothing (this time I get to add in Steve's & my stuff plus all the linens). I am doing all that the exterminator is asking, but I have my doubts...maybe because I have done this so much this past month?

I have concluded that we have to much stuff & I need to find a way to weed our belongings on an on going process.

Day 58: Husbands are funny creatures

Today's plan was simple:

- grocery shop in the morning to ensure I have enough supplies on hand to get through this weekend of cleaning "fun".
- spend the afternoon washing clothes and start working on cleaning items in the children's bedrooms.
- in the evening eat pizza & watch a movie with the children.

Simple right?

I had it all planned out because this is the Friday that Steve has all of his friends over for game day. Everyone shows up around 2pm and stay as late as they want.

Unknown to me, Steve had chosen to take the whole day off instead of working the morning. This already spells disaster for me because Steve wants to run errands with  me - meaning we will stop at more stores than I planned and buy more junk food than I want.

Small price to pay, right? Besides if it is a quick stop then one of us can wait with the kiddos in the car...I figure no big deal.

Then during our errand trip Steve lets me know that game day is being rescheduled because so many of the guys came down with the flu. O.K. I think to myself...he can help me with all the cleaning! right? wrong!

He instead, tells the children that since his game day was canceled he will treat all of us to a movie, The Hobbit. Now, if I say no then I look like the stick in the mud, the party pooper, the wicked step-mother (minus the step). If I say yes, then I lose some valuable time cleaning.

I voice my concerns. Steve says no problem, he will take us to the matinee and then we will have the rest of the day to work. I think not. The movie is close to 3 hours....if we watch the matinee then that is during prime working time. Again, I am the "bad" guy.

At this point, you are probably saying to yourself - send Steve and the children so you can get a ton of work done without them! True, that passed through my mind as well, but...long ago I made a conscience choice to always choose my family over work. Be it work for church, for home school, for the house or even a job (but the last one is mute since I don't work outside the home).

Because of this choice I am often faced with problems like staying home and cleaning for bedbugs or attending the movies.

I chose the movies.

The movie was good. I am sitting up late washing bedding so children can start sleeping downstairs. Steve will help me move some of our items that are a little to heavy for me to move. Tomorrow I will spend the day working on my room. The children can work with me or on their own rooms.

I am sure it will all get done, it is just the stress factor. The "why are you choosing to play when there is work to be done." The "my husband is a funny creature because he does not see this as a big deal."
Then again, maybe it isn't Steve who is a funny creature, maybe it is me, since I felt like choosing between cleaning and spending time with my family was a huge deal.

BTW, I was very ingenious with my walking today. Steve mistimed the movie, we got their a good 40 minutes before it was to begin. The theater was absolutely dead, so I walked the theater. Up and down the stairs and across the aisles. I got my full 30 minutes in before another patron showed up. The children even walked around with me. I felt dorky, but at least I got that walk in!

Day 57: The list

I really need to take pictures of all that must be done over the next several days to get ready for the exterminators...it feels like we are moving.

Here is a basic list:

All clothing/linens/stuff animals/curtains washed on hot water, dried on hottest setting and then bagged and placed in area/room that is not being sprayed and has no bedbug activity.

All rooms vacuumed, including corners (using edging/crevice tool).

All beds, furniture, pillows, etc...(basically whatever can't be washed) vacuumed.

All pictures & other wall decorations removed and left in room (bed bugs like to hide behind pictures)

All closets and dresser drawers empty and left open

Majority of clutter cleaned with alcohol/water solution, bagged and stored in room that is not being sprayed & has no bedbug activity.

All light switch & electrical plates removed.

All baseboards, walls and wallpaper repaired of any rips, holes, etc.

All furniture must be moved away from the wall - at least 10 inches, but in the middle of room is preferable.

Mirrors must be removed from dressers.

Chairs must be turned upside down and left in middle of room.

All valuables must be removed from rooms.

Windows will be left open for a min. of 6 hours, so objects that could be knocked down by wind or destroyed by rain must be moved.

The vacuum bag must be taken bagged & taken to the outside trash as soon as we are done vacuuming.

All living plants & animals must be removed from the home while the house air outs.

We are only have our upper floor (where all the bedrooms are) sprayed...I can't even imagine if the whole house was infested with bedbugs...or if we lived in a town house or an apartment building.

It sounds like a lot. It feels like a lot, but somehow we (I) will get through it.

Now, I just have to make sure to get my walking & stretching in....I did today, but I think the next 5 days is going to be very, very, very hard. My instincts say to drop the walking & stretching and spend that time cleaning...I am going to attempt to fight my instincts.

Day 56: Over doing it means paying for it the next day

Awhile back I mentioned one to many times that I strained some muscles in my back.

As long as I don't over do it with heavy lifting, prolonged sitting...well, really prolonged anything - even prolonged standing! - then I am fine.

Yesterday, I cleaned my family room. I stopped short of a complete deep clean, but I spent a good number of hours breaking down boxes, moving and cleaning the couch (and under it...ewww).

I then had to re-clean Zack's bed because the Orkin guys pulled it apart to see if we still have bedbugs (which we do).

I then went to cub scouts...yeah, I was very sore and tired last night.

I could hardly move this morning.

Thank goodness for stretches!!!! I am not a 100%, but I am at like 75% to 85%...so I (well, the children worked too) cleaned the bathrooms and did a ton of laundry.

I have a long list of things that must be done before the next round of spraying...I will post those tomorrow. I am too tired tonight to think about it (and maybe a little overwhelmed).

I am thankful for stretches. I am thankful for walking. I am thankful I have the means to get us through this little bug problem. And I am thankful it is only a little bug problem!

Day 55: looking for the positive

Quick note: I walked, I stretched and I cleaned. Sigh.

Sighing to the cleaning, not the other parts.

My updates will probably be short for the next few days - have a ton of prep work to do for the next round of spraying for bed bugs.

But here is a positive thought: a crisis of bed bugs is preferable to a majority of other problems, such as having someone close to you being diagnosed with cancer or having your home destroyed in a tornado or living in a war torn country or...well, you get the picture.

I may feel overwhelmed and frustrated at times, but lined up with other trials...yeah, bed bugs are quite so bad after all.

Day 54: Quicksand

I feel like I am running in quicksand...

Did I walk and stretch today? Yes!

Yet, I feel like I am woefully behind on so many things. I feel like my routine and plan are out the window never to return.

Still battling bedbugs...they are the nastiest little buggers. Give me termites. Give me cockroaches. Give me fleas. Give me lice. But please....do not ever give me bed bugs again!!!!

I have deep cleaned the children's bedrooms twice. The exterminator has come once. He will come again tomorrow. I am positive I will be doing even more deep cleaning. We have a light infestation. I know that, but if this is light...well, I don't ever want to see bad.

Despite trying to keep things on a even keel, I do not feel like I am moving forward. I don't feel like I am falling behind, but...it is frustrating.

Here is the one thing that I keep reminding myself: if I can stick to  my goal of walking and stretching during the hardest of times than it should be a breeze once things get back to "normal". I hope that proves true.

I also hope (and pray) that round two with the exterminator will be all it takes....

Day 53: Stretching on Sunday

Unlike walking, I have decided to stretch on Sundays.

I am not sure I have a logical reason for this.

I see the need for resting from walking, thus the one day off on Sunday. You can read more here.

Yet, stretching seems different. It feels different.

Maybe that is because the stretches I do is more like yoga. It isn't yoga, but it is like yoga in the sense that I am in various stretches (or poses) for a certain amount of time. Some stretches can take as long as 10 minutes; that's because the stretches are designed to relax the muscles - not just stretch them. In fact, I am not really sure I can call them stretches.

Anyway, the point is that I end up meditating, pondering, thinking, etc. about all sorts of things. I do the stretches first thing in the morning, it is quiet and peaceful...I really love starting my day that way. So, for now, I am keeping the stretches on Sunday, but still taking a break from walking.

Day 52: I couldn't stay away

For Christmas, I had given the gift of time to my family. Each person got a different gift of time - based on what I thought would be most important to them. For K, it is an outing with me. She is older and her interests are changing. I think having a time set aside once a month where she & I can go have a "date" - where she chooses what we do - will be good for her and good for us, as mother & daughter.

I suggested this morning, that our January outing should be watching Les Miserable at the theater. She happily agreed.

The musical is full of life lessons and truisms...and is such a classic, uplifting, wholesome and healing kind of story. It is also full of adult themes.

I think, depending on where your heart is, Les Mis can either be a dark tale or an uplifting tale. Are there dark aspects to the story? yes, one character is forced into prostitution, another character is at the mercy of pick pockets & thieves. But that is life - isn't it?

Just because I believe in God and strive to live a good life does not mean my life will be perfect - sometimes tragedy and struggles happen regardless. Should I shield my children from reality? No, I don't think so...it does not prepare them for the real world. I do not have to subject them to the ugly side of life, but when a story comes along that shows "yes, the world is ugly, but look what happens when you choose to follow God and put your trust in him" then I think it is worth it.

Am I justifying a bit? maybe. I don't know. What I do know, is that when I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade I saw stage productions of "My Fair Lady", "Fiddler on the Roof", and another one about the pioneers heading west to Utah (sorry, don't know the name of that one). When I was 12, my grandparents took me to see the ballet, "Billy the Kid". When I was in high school, I was part of a stage production for "Lil' Abner". When I was in college, I saw a stage production for "Grapes of Wrath."

Theater touches the heart and the soul. Music touches the heart and the soul. Books can touch the heart and soul. If I had the means to take my children to stage productions, I would. This film was the closest I could come for myself and for K.

When we learn in history of the struggles of people to be heard and to be free...it is just words. Sometimes it is a game because the children and I choose to re-enact something. But now, now when we speak of struggles, we have a movie and songs to fall back on. The fight for freedom that currently exists in parts of the world is no different than what occurred in France in the 1800s or in America in the 1700s. The desire to be free is in all of us.

When we speak at church of the balance that Christ brings to mercy and justice it can be just words, but now, now...K has a reference point. She even brought it up on the way home. One character, Javier,  believed in justice. He believed in hard work, duty and God. He did not believe in mercy. Even after he showed mercy he did not understand it. This character felt that he did something wrong.

Yet, the hero of the story, Jean Valjean, embraced mercy when it was shown to him. He understood mercy so well that he was able to forgive those that hurt him when he was a prisoner. Jean Valjean was able to understand that Javier is just doing his duty. Jean Valjean lives his life a changed man always seeking ways to show mercy and help others.

Javier represented justice. Jean Valjean represented mercy. Christ represents both. K  gets that now. I get that now.

When a story is so powerful that it changes you...well, I couldn't stay away. I hope to visit the world of Les Miserable often. I hope it continually changes me and moves me.

Day 51: 5 Gratitudes for Friday, 5

1. My husband who happily & willingly took me to see Les Miserables at the theater for my birthday. Musicals are not Steve's favorites, but he knew this was a show I have wanted to see for a long time (never lived anywhere where the stage production was available).

2. For amazing and uplifting stories - Les Mis was all that I hoped for and so much more. Steve and I were both visibly moved. We are so excited to share this story with kiddos. The lessons of mercy, kindness and love...just wow. wow.

3. So after seeing Les Mis what could I possibly be upset about? I mean everything in my life is sooo much better than I realized...even with the very stubborn bed bugs! I have shelter, I have food, I have electricity, I have indoor plumbing (no chamber pots for me!), I have a loving family and friends. I could go on, but I won't - I think you get the point.

4. My children making me presents and giving me breakfast in bed. It was a wonderful surprise and a great way to start my day. I have some pretty amazing children. I am pretty blessed to have them in my life.

5. Did I mention Les Mis???? I am thankful that my friend, Ashlee, encouraged me to read the book "A Thomas Jefferson Education." I am thankful my friend, Mary, let me borrow her copy of the book. I am thankful I read the book because it taught me this principle for books (although it can & should be applied to music, movies, etc.): 4 categories to help us judge whether we should spend the time in a book. A: Broken - evil is portrayed as good, good is portrayed as evil and evil wins. This is usually things like horror flicks and pornos. B: Bent - evil is portrayed as evil, good is portrayed as good, but evil wins. Think 1984 or Lord of the Flies. C: Wholesome - evil is evil, good is good and good wins. Almost all classics. D: Healing - this is any book that touches your life so deeply that it moves you to make a change or improve, etc. Normally, wholesome books are healing, but bent can be healing as well. Healing is totally personal.
Les Mis is most definitely Wholesome and time will tell if it is Healing for me, but the way I feel now...it is healing. I very much want to read the book that the movie is based on. I would still love to see a stage production. I would love to own the soundtrack. But I find the story amazing. "When you love another person you see the face of God..." kind of says it all. Life is not black & white, but if we know who we are (A child of God) and live our lives that way then we will touch others and we will die & go to heaven. I realize that this is similar to the scripture that basically says when you help the least of these ye have done unto me.

Anyway, go see Les Mis - you won't regret it!

Day 50: Happy Birthday to me!

How did I celebrate my birthday?

Walking, stretching and cleaning....

The youngest two had more bites "pop" up yesterday. It is very aggravating. I will check for new bites when they wake up in the morning, not see any and then sometime in the afternoon/early evening the children will be complaining of itchy bites. sheesh!

I clean and clean and clean and clean...I haven't seen one bug. I haven't seen one sign of a bug. I just see bites!

I think my family is forcing me to to take tomorrow off to celebrate my birthday. Even though all I want for my birthday is a bug free & bite free home!

Day 49: A year of working?

Not sure what to say today...I walked and I stretched. it felt good doing both, but I still have a long way to go.

Obviously I have a long way to go with walking - since the goal is to enjoy the journey for a whole year. What I mean, is in terms of a good working schedule, sticking to the good working schedule and having everything fall into place...or mostly in place.

Between the holidays, various illnesses and the bed bugs my routine has been thrown completely out of whack.

If it was just me or just Steve and I than no big deal...but the children need a better routine.

The one thing I have learned these past few weeks is that my son needs more opportunities to work and it needs to be a daily opportunity. He can work, he just complains, grumbles, fights, whines, attempts to negotiate, etc. - it takes him longer to do all of that then it does to do the actual work!

A couple of years ago, I focused on reading classics to the children. We read all the time and had a day where all we did was read. I loved it. I am wondering if something similar with work would be good for the children...especially Zack. If nothing else, I would have a super clean house!

Day 48: Two bugs

Another quick note - walked and stretched despite being tired and overwhelmed. It felt really good to get my goals in and now, at the end of the day, I don't feel quite so overwhelmed.

Keep us in your prayers - we have two bugs in the house - the flu bug and the bed bugs...sometimes life is just not fair.

Day 47: Sometimes knowing is not enough

On a different post, I talked about how all things are connected. Now that I walk, I am drinking more water and doing more stretches - it came about naturally. What did not come about naturally is the same consistency.

I walk 6 days a week for 30 minutes...it doesn't matter how tired I am, how sore I am, how late it is, how crazy the day or how much my children need...I walk. I have committed myself to walking, I am determined to walk and meet this goal. I like that.

I am not doing as well on stretching and drinking water. It frustrates me that the determination for walking did not magically translate to stretching and drinking water. I must be pretty naive, but I kind of hoped having determination for one thing (walking) would ensure I would have it for other areas...but no.

I guess, each area that needs improving will need me to make a commitment to it. The upside though, is that I don't have to come up with new goals...that "natural" desire that links all things together will help determine what goals to add and when.

So...I am walking for a year....and stretching for a year (yeah, I know, water is important too, but only one new goal for me - I don't want to fail before I even begin!). In the future I will be writing about my journey in both areas...and hopefully adding new goals along the way.

I think that is part of the journey as well.

Day 46: Some things worth keeping

Today, church started at a new time for us -1pm. In the LDS church, the different wards (or congregations) rotate the hours they attend church. Church buildings can hold anywhere from 1 - 5 wards; 3 being the average. I have no idea why we rotate; I guess so everyone can share the pros & cons to the different meeting hours.

Last year (2012) we started at 9am and finished at noon. This year we meet at 1pm and finish at 4pm. I have gone as early as 8am and as late as 2pm. I really do not have a preference. An earlier time means you have the rest of the day to spend at home, a later time means you can sleep in and still have enough time to get ready!

The one thing I can say is that I love a new year because I am ready for a change. It is one of the few areas in my life where I like change....maybe because it is a familiar change? I don't know. I do know that my  children are ecstatic to be going at a later time this year. We have moved around so much that we haven't actually had an afternoon church time in 2 or 3 years.

A new year, a new month and a new church time...but an old plan with a strong determination. Some things are worth keeping the same.

Day 45: And the beat goes on...

Another winter day, more snow, more laundry and...the beat goes on.

I read somewhere once that virtue was more than just being virtuous. It was being steadfast in the every day things. As I understood it, virtue is performing those little every day chores (that must happen) in a cheerful manner. I think the key is the attitude.

There are days where I perform those every day chores,but have a rotten attitude - I doubt very highly that I have virtue on those days.

Today, thankfully, was not one of those days.

I walked, I did laundry, I cooked dinner, the girls and I worked on various craft projects while the boys were on an outing.  It was a non-consequential kind of day, but it was full of virtue...and perhaps, at the end of life's journey today was more consequential than I can ever imagine.

Day 44: 5 Gratitudes for Friday, 4

1. Thank you to all of my friends and family who have been encouraging me on this journey. Your words of encouragement always seem to come on a day when I need it most. Hard to believe it has already been 44 days...seems like I just started yesterday, but I know these 44 days are as much about my hard work as it is also about your encouragement & love (which must be a part of the Lord's blessings).

2. Uplifting movies. We watched "Brave" tonight. If you haven't seen it, you should. It is a great movie - reminding us that relationships are all about love and without it we have nothing.

3. Children who are old enough to entertain themselves while I bury myself in a project - be it finishing the Christmas cards (which are woefully late this year, er, last year) or vacuuming the house clean.

4. For my husband who strives so hard to meet my needs. He has worked very hard this last year being his own boss and the fruits of his labors are starting to show, but through it all (and even now) he thinks of my needs (and even my wants and wishes).

5. The Scriptures and the comfort they bring to me. It doesn't matter if I am reading the Bible, the Book of Mormon or the Doctrine and Covenants - I feel a peace as I read. And just like water, I need to read every day to refill my spiritual cup. Its a wonderful thing.

Day 43: Lessons Learned

Just when I think I got a handle on determination, goal setting and enjoying the present (instead of dwelling on the past or dreaming of the future)...something like bed bugs has to pop up.

My thoughts today have gone from one exaggeration to another:

"This is the worst thing I have had to go through!"
"Why me????"
"It is going to take forever to get rid of these bed bugs...they live for over a year!"
"I bet spraying and cleaning the children's rooms won't be enough, I will have to spend weeks and months cleaning, scrubbing, vacuuming the entire house and washing all of our contents!"
"How am I going to do this???"

At times like these, it pays to think of the past - I have survived termite seasons, flying cockroaches, a very bad flea infestation, mice in my attic, and lice (my own as a child and my children's bout).

What is the one thing I have learned from all of this? It will end. One way or another, it will end. At some point in my life, it will end.

I have also learned from these past experiences that my current pest problem is not a reflection on my abilities to keep a house or be a good mother. It is just a part of life - Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, they were cast out of the Garden of Eden and the Earth was cursed for their sake.

I have often thought that scripture story was referring to weeds, but I think it includes bugs as well. I am sure there is some grand reason for things like bed bugs, fleas and lice...not really sure what it is. I wonder if those things (cockroaches included) existed in the  Garden of Eden or did God create them when He cursed the Earth for Adam's sake? And if the pests (mosquitoes included) existed in the Garden of Eden what were there purpose to the ecosystem? As far as I can tell they only exist to pester me!

Since I can not answer that deep philosophical question, I can remember the lessons I have learned form the past - this will end, this is not a reflection on my abilities and vacuuming & washing are needed (thank goodness for modern conveniences). I can live in the present by using my time wisely between cleaning and schooling (and realizing the work is never really finished so I don't have to kill myself to get it all done in one day). I can look forward to the future by continuing my walking each and every day and dreaming of a bug free home (even if it is just for a few months...).

And perhaps all of that is part of the journey, too.

Day 42: Bed Bugs confirmed!

I know this blog is suppose to be about my journey of walking, but this affects me...it really does.

First, the thought that a bug is in my child's bed is....just....gross.

Second, I feel like a failure as a homemaker because I totally slacked on housecleaning trying to focus more on my children and their schooling. I feel like that plan totally bit me in the butt.

Third, I naively thought because we rarely stay in a hotel that we would be safe from the bed bug resurgence...I guess not. Did you know that bed bugs can crawl into your suitcase and take 2 or 3 months to crawl out and into your bed???? The last time we traveled was in October and we got hit at the end of December.....irritating.

Fourth, As with all things bugs - the vacuum cleaner is your number one friend (next to your exterminator and washer/dryer). The Orkin guy sprayed the beds, bed frames, and other areas today. I can start vacuuming on Saturday (I will probably wait until Monday). This means, instead of doing all the stuff in the plans, I get the opportunity to "Spring Clean" at least 2 bedrooms, but I will probably do mine as well. This spring cleaning will include everything in closets, drawers, plastic containers stored under the bed, curtains...yeah, everything. Bed bugs are so small that they will crawl behind picture frames, behind the plates of electrical switches, etc.. On top of the that, the carbon dioxide we breathe out is what attracts the little buggers to begin with. Sigh.

On a happy note, because I pulled apart bedrooms last week (but did not do clothes, curtains, closets, dressers or Rubbermaid containers under the bed) the Orkin guy thinks I killed a lot of them. A little tip, when vacuuming to get rid of bugs take out the vacuum bag or empty your canister immediately afterwards and take it out to the trash - bugs (bed bugs, fleas, lice, etc...) have been known to survive inside the vacuum cleaner and find a way to crawl out. Sigh.

So, I am going to walk because I have made a commitment, but my desire to walk has gone to the bottom of the to-do list. In fact, if this was my old self I would skip walking until this current little crisis was over and done with - my old self would see that half hour of walking as a waste of time. My new self, sees and understands the importance of walking everyday. Just not sure if the new self can talk myself into walking at the mall - the hour or so it takes seems like a waste of time!

Any thoughts????

Well, the old phrase, "sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite" kind of takes on a different meaning for me...not sure I will be able to say it again....

Day 41: Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone!

The first day of a new year can be such an indication of what the rest of the year will be....not! Thank goodness or I would be in trouble!

The negatives:

1. Children have some new bites - have an exterminator coming tomorrow to (hopefully) tell me what is causing the problem....anyone want to take bets on bed bugs? That is what Steve and I are betting on.

2. Zack went to bed with flu like symptoms...a lot of people had it at church this past month so it was only a matter of time before we got it too!

The positives:

1. We were able to spend the whole day as a family.

2. I walked!!!

I am thinking the positives out weigh the negatives, especially the walking....such a cool feeling to be continuing a goal instead of starting one.