Year 2, Day 186: I hope they call me on a mission...

A quick update: A few months ago, I started a workout program with Mandy Goodwill through her business Eclipse Fitness. She has an area just for women called "Body by Bells." Mandy has two programs to choose from, one that is strength training through body weight resistance (hopefully, I got that right!). For this option, think push ups, planks, stair climbers, etc. The other option is doing workouts with kettle bells. Don't know how to explain kettle bells, so check out this wiki page.

I chose the first option. Mandy is an amazing instructor. I normally do not like these type of work outs, but Mandy does a great job of encouraging, expelling, keeping it fun, but also working you hard so you see results. I was absolutely loving how I was feeling.

Then I got hurt. Twice.

Not sure what I did the first time. I felt pain in my hip and lower back, but never went to see a doctor. I just babied it for a few days, then slowly eased back into the work outs.

The second time, however; wow! Talk about pain. My piriformis muscle (which is a muscle that lays under your glutes) pinched my sciatic nerve (a nerve that runs from your lower back all the way down your legs). My pain was on my left side. It was so bad that I could not walk. Laid for several days on the floor, on my back, with my left leg propped up at a 45 degree angle with pillows (the pillows supported every part of my leg from my hip all the way to my heel).

I do not recommend this injury to anyone.

I am thankful that my family doctor specializes in orthopedics. He and his interns were able to gently work on my muscles and get me back to not feeling any pain and being able to walk. I am not a 100% healed. The doctor told me it would take several months for me to be "100%" better and more than likely I will aggravate the piriformis muscle again. It is just one of those muscles that once pulled or pinched easily re-injure.

Yet, the doctor said being active is important.

I am really struggling to be active again. I really am.

I wake up feeling like a crooked old woman (sadly I don't have a crooked old dog or crooked line so I guess am not living a nursery rhyme).

I stretch. I use a foam roller to deep massage the muscles that feel cramped and achy.

I try to walk. I try to do Mandy's exercises - she even suggest kettle bells would be great to help me get back into shape.

I think, deep down, I under if I am "suppose" to get into shape.

Okay, that sounds weird, I know.

Sometimes, my thinking thinks me out of good things.

So here is my very bizarre logic:

In the scriptures it says there is a season for everything. I have accepted that my season in life is raising children and homeschooling. I get that. I can postpone working outside of the home. I can postpone going back for my masters. I can postpone writing the next great novel. And somewhere in my head, since getting injured, I have convinced myself that getting shape just isn't for this "season" - maybe when the children are a little older.

I have a confession to make: every time I have attempted to get into shape in the past, something has caused me to quit (myself, moving, injury, etc). Each and every time I have had a similar thought - maybe now is just not the right time.

I know, I know, I know. Now is the perfect time to get healthy. My young children are home, they will learn from my example. They will see the benefits of eating a balanced meal and of getting enough rest and drinking enough water and exercising. This is the best way to show instead of tell. In my head, I know this.

But somehow, the other part of my brain (the part that is not always logical) convinces myself that "now is not the time."

So, I have been struggling to exercise. I have been struggling to be motivated. I have been struggling with this internal conflict.

Then today at church, we had a wonderful talk by a woman who is getting ready to serve a mission with her husband. She started the talk by telling the children they could help their parents prepare to serve a mission by encouraging them to...exercise, eat healthy, get adequate sleep, etc...

It was a wonderful talk. And the whole time she talked, I realized I had a new argument for myself. Maybe getting in shape is not the "right" time for me, but I have a daughter that wants to serve a mission. This is the "right" time for her to get in shape. And for my daughter to get into shape, I am going to need to help her - I need to be a good example, I need to encourage her, I need to mentor her, I need to gather information for her to read (which means I have to read it) about health, nutrition, etc.

Now the above paragraph may sound like it means "I am suppose to get in shape", then you have failed to see the subtle difference. When I am striving to get into shape than the focus is on me. When I am striving to help my daughter prepare to be physically fit for her mission than the focus is on her. And I have learned since day 1 of being pregnant with my first child that I am much better at taking care of myself when I see that it directly helps my child be the healthiest they can be.

The requirements to be a missionary are tough - walk 6 miles and ride a bike for 12 miles. It is suggested to establish a regular pattern of aerobic exercise - walking, running, or cycling for one hour every day.

We will jump in with both feet, but we will also build slowly - we have time.

And how does kettle bells and body weight resistance fit in? Well, at my age, to be physically fit takes a lot more than just walking....besides, if I can be an example to all of my children that the best way to prepare for their adult life - be it missions, college, military or parenthood - is through being physically fit, than I gotta do it all.

Sometimes it is hard being a mom. And sometimes, being a mom is just the answer you need.

Happy Walking!