Sunday, July 7, 2024

Day 17 & 18, 2024: Grief Counseling

 Today I met with my grief counselor for the first time.

I have a regular therapist whom I absolutely love. 

Could she have helped me through the grief? Probably. 

Why didn't I ask her? Because my husband thought a different therapist who only focuses on my grief would be best.

Why did he think it was best? Almost two months after the death of the first grader whom I worked with, I am still grieving and depressed. It isn't getting better.

The grief counselor is a regular therapist but I refer to her as a grief counselor to keep the two therapists separate in my mind. 

I also feel like I am cheating on my regular therapist. I see her on Wednesday. I will confess my "cheating". I am open to the two of them discussing me - exchanging notes, working together, etc. I have no idea if this sort of thing is done or not. But I guess it can be done since I am doing it. 

And yes, the grief counselor knows I have a regular therapist.

My husband sees the grief counselor as a specialist. Like with medical doctors, you have your primary care physician and see specialists for specific problems.

Hopefully, my regular therapist will see it that way as well.

I like the grief counselor. She is super nice and easy to talk to. I am excited and nervous about working through this grief.

She did ask me what my end goal was - how would I know that therapy worked and I "graduated"?

My answer: I want to want to shower and no longer spend my free time playing iPad games.

It always comes back to the shower.

Lots of love on your journey.


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