"You're Going the Wrong Way!"

 Jan. 12, 2021 - Going the Wrong Way

Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" starring Steve Martin and John Candy? There is a scene where John Candy's character is driving a car at night. The car spins around, a lot, and Candy mistakenly gets on the highway driving against on-coming traffic. Since it is late at night and out in the middle of nowhere, he doesn't realize his mistake. A couple in a car driving on the correct side of the highway sees him and attempts to tell him. They keep yelling "You're going the wrong way!" Steve Martin and John Candy's characters don't listen to them and almost die driving between two semi's.

That is how I felt yesterday morning when I weighed myself.

I weighed: 159 pounds

My weight went up instead of down.

I even got warnings I was going the wrong way. The MyFitnessPal app is very polite when it tells me every night that "if every day was like today then you will weigh X lbs in 6 weeks". The X almost every night has been higher or close to my current weight.

Did I think the app was lying? Did I think it was drunk? Did I think I knew better?

No, just in denial. 

And it is frustrating.

This is my pattern. Work really hard, stop working hard because of illness, holidays, vacations, then start the whole darn process over again.

I really want to beat myself up. 

I really want to give up. Being healthy feels like an elusive dream.

I really, desperately, want to break this pattern.

How do I maintain good health habits when life happens? Because I know life always happens. 

Okay, enough moaning and crying! Today is a new day and a new opportunity to do better.

And hopefully next week, I won't be going the wrong way.

Here is to a happy, healthful year!

Happy New Year!

 Friday, January 1, 2021 - Happy New Year!

I did not write as much as I wanted to between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day; however, I learned a lot!

Highlights:

1 - Walking destresses me. There was one day I finally got a 30-minute walk in (this was after several weeks of not being able to walk) and I could feel the stress just rolling off of me. Emotions I hadn't realized were bottled up came pouring out and I finished my walk crying...a therapeutic and much-needed cry.

2 - I love tracking my food. I see it as a challenge/competition to eat what I want and stay within the 1200 calories MyFitnessPal app has recommended for me. Yet, I can not track my exercise/movement on the same app. Why? Because the app is kind enough to let me know how many calories I have burned - it even does a little math formula so I know exactly how many calories I have left to eat. And... I use that formula to consistently eat more than 1200 calories. Very irritating.

3 - I finally admitted to myself that I eat meat because everyone around me does. I don't think I want to eat vegetarian full-time. I do want to eat vegetarian 95% of the time, although I would settle for 80% of the time. 

I am also changing my goal for my weight a tad. I heard once that when we set a goal most of us only reach half of it. For example, if you want to save $100.00 every month, then most people would only save $50.00. The suggestion was made to double your goal and if you only reach half, then you met the goal you really wanted. Example: I want to save $100.00 every month. I set the goal to save $200.00 every month. The actual is I saved $100.00 each month.

With that in mind...I am going for broke this year. 

My goal: To lose 60 pounds in 2021.

Gosh, I am excited and nervous!

Be your best self every day!

Other Ways to Check If I am Healthy

 12-2-2020 Other Ways to Check If I am Healthy

Okay, I get it, my weight is just one way to figure out if I am healthy or not...and not even the best/most accurate way to do so. 

We all know people who are on the thin side that have health problems. Just as we all know people who are on the heavy side that get a clean bill of health from their doctors every year. I really think it is different for each person.

For me, I know my weight is a problem. 

I may love my age, love my body, and not be ashamed of my weight; however, I hate feeling sluggish all the time. I also hate the gastrointestinal problems I have had for a while now (read: chronic constipation and gas build up). I also hate how tight my muscles feel, especially in my jaw. I hate how hard it is to bend over and tie my shoes or give myself a pedicure. And honestly, I do not like how I look in photos (more on that later).

I do know that my waist measurement is another way to tell if I am healthy. I recently read an article in Insider that discussed nine biomarkers besides weight to help you determine how healthy you are overall. You can read it here.

Following the article's list, I still have a health problem.

1 - Waist measurement: as shown in my last post, my waist circumference is a little high and therefore I am at risk for certain diseases.

2 - Glasses of water: The article says that each person is different for the amount they need to drink. My doctor told me I need to drink 4 liters of water a day. I barely get 1 liter of water in. This is one of those yo-yo areas. If I put a lot of time and energy into tracking and drinking, then yeah, I can do 4 liters of water a day. Unfortunately, the slightest thing can throw me off track. 

3 - Blood pressure: The article recommends getting checked regularly by your doctor. I check my blood pressure every morning. A habit I got into after my husband's heart attack and surgery. Since he needs to check his every day, I check mine as well and then keep track of our numbers on a chart. My blood pressure is all over the place. I have had a lot of dental problems this past year and I think the pain involved is affecting my numbers. It is disheartening to see those high numbers.

4 - Vegetables are eaten: Oops, another one I struggle with. I do a much better job of getting enough fruits eaten, not so much with vegetables. I love salads. Unfortunately because of my dental problems I can't eat salads. I try to have some kind of vegetable soup every day and I want to make more green smoothies...and yet, I struggle. This is part of my emotional eating. It is also a weird hang-up I have about trying new foods or a new way of eating when other people are around. And the whole family is around every day thanks to Covid-19 and the shutdown. I need to work on this one.

5 - Cholesterol levels: Again, the article suggests getting checked regularly. I know my dad has struggled with high cholesterol levels for years and he now has Diabetes. I assume the two are linked. The last time I had my cholesterol levels checked they were high. I can't remember the last time I was checked. I know I need to eat more whole grains and less sugar. I also know I need to ask to be checked at my next physical.

6 - Blood sugar levels: Again, the article suggests getting checked regularly. All be honest, except for the nasty sugar test I was forced to do with each of my pregnancies, I don't think I have ever had this test. I will add this to the list of things to have checked when I go in for my next physical.

7 - Time spent moving: The article suggests 30 minutes a day. It also says to move throughout the day. I actually do pretty good at this one and really hate it when I can't get my walk in. I walk every day for 30 minutes because I enjoy it. I love walking with people. I prefer walking outside. I enjoy hiking. I don't mind the elliptical or treadmill. What I want to get better at is doing exercises for strength, flexibility, and balance. I really struggle to make those a part of my day. My secret hope is to sprinkle movement throughout the day and have it total around 90 minutes by the time I go to bed.

8 - Alcoholic drinks consumed: I don't drink alcohol so I didn't even read this section.

9 - Hours spent sleeping: The article suggests between seven to nine hours of sleep a night. I happen to know I have always needed more sleep than most people so the goal...the dream...is to get nine hours of sleep every night. Oh, I can be in bed for nine hours...I am just not always able to sleep. My brain has a hard time turning off at night (I will discuss this in another post). My husband or children will forget I have gone to bed and wake me up...or legit have a problem and need me. My husband likes to be on his computer before going to bed...and the computer is in our room because he works from home. I am a super light sleeper and will almost always wake up when he turns on his computer. 

And yes, all of this sounds like excuses. Except, I know that when we were first married I was able to sleep throughout the night without waking up. And yes, we had a computer in our room back then. I woke up briefly when he turned on his computer and then fell right back to sleep. Now? I fully wake up. I also wake up randomly throughout the night dreaming I am choking on something. Or I wake up because I think I heard the doorbell or someone knocking on the door....and my bedroom is on the second floor. Basically, I know the quality of sleep sucks. I really want it to be better.

Bottom line? I have some work to do. Of the nine items, I know five of them are bad and need to be improved. I am pretty sure 2 of them are bad but will get hard numbers at my next physical. 1 item is pretty good, but I want to improve it. And the last number is great because I don't drink alcohol.

I guess what I am saying is that I know I am unhealthy regardless of what the scale says or what chart is used to determine my "healthy" range.

What about you? How do you tell if you are healthy or not?

 11-30-2020  My Weight

I really hate being asked how much I weigh or ever admitting how much I weigh. It isn't because I am ashamed of my weight - far from it. I just really loath the response from people.

Normally, the response is "Oh, that isn't very much weight" or "you look good why are you worried about vanity weight?"

First off, my weight is not vanity weight. Second off, weight is relative to your height.

So yeah, I weigh 159 pounds. 

159 pounds might not seem all the heavy to you. You might even think to yourself, "I would love to be 159 pounds". Which is awesome.

159 pounds is not awesome for me.

If you decide to go old school and look at a height weight chart, I fall into the obese category.

You see, I am only 5'1". 

That's right, 5 feet and 1 inch. 

That isn't very tall. 

And when you are not very tall, a lower number on the scale can and will be overweight or obese.

For someone taller, 159 pounds might fall under the overweight category or the normal weight category, or the underweight category. It all depends on your height.

For me, at 5'1", the normal weight range is 100 to 131 pounds. Yes, you read that correctly. 100 pounds.

Am I going for 100 pounds? No. I will be very happy with 131 pounds, thank you very much. When I got married at age 27, I was 125 pounds. Obviously, having three kids and doing a terrible job of exercising regularly ontop of an out-of-control sweet tooth means I am now, 28 pounds over my ideal. 

At 5'1", 132 to 157 pounds is overweight. At age 49, I would be happy with overweight. But my goal is a normal weight for my height.

Now, you might be thinking that if I look at a BMI chart that I won't fall under the obese category. I mean we all have heard the funny stories of guys like Brad Pitt being classified as obese when it is obvious they are in great shape.

I looked that up as well, my BMI number is 30.04. That falls under the obese category.

On the BMI chart, 18.5 - 24.9 is considered normal (that happens to equate to 100-127 pounds).

25 - 29.9 us considered overweight (roughly 132 - 153 pounds).

See? I am obese. And I need to lose weight for my health. This is not vanity weight.

Oh, you might ask about my waist circumference. Yeah, it is 38.5 inches. All I know is that for women your waist circumference is suppose to be below 35 inches. Obviously, I have some work to do.

I don't know about you, but with all this extra weight, I feel sluggish, and fat, don't sleep well, don't have a lot of energy and I seem to spiral into ever more bad eating habits. 

I would love to go back to the days when I could eat anything and never gain a pound. Yes, I was one of those kids. 

I am not that person now. 

Every calorie consumed and every calorie burned makes a difference in my weight and on my body's overall health (and even on my mental health).

I am proud to be 5'1" and 159 pounds and 49 years old.

I will be even prouder when one of those numbers goes down for good while another number increases every year. I happen to love my age as well.

My goal is every Monday to post my weight and waist circumference. If I don't track it, it won't change for the better. That is one thing I have learned this past year.

What about you? 

 11/28/2020 - The beginning of a plan

When I started this blog it was with the sole intent to either prove or disprove my doctor's assertion that the only exercise I needed was to walk. He said to walk briskly every day for 30 minutes.

I didn't lose a ton of weight walking every day for a year. I did; however, have more energy, slept better, drank more water, and didn't feel nearly as depressed in the winter months (Illinois was cold!).

In an attempt to curb my sweet tooth, I once spent a year only having sugar (obvious sugar, not the hidden kind) once a month. By the end of the year, one bite of a cake was more than enough sugar for me. The Christmas holidays hit and that was the end of that experiment.

In 2019, after my husband's heart attack, I kept track of my food, exercise, and weight on the MyFitnessPal app. It worked. I lost 10 lbs. I also quit keeping track when we went on a family trip to Disneyland and never got back into the swing of things.

This past year, I have been walking every day. Sometimes I track it on MyFitnessPal sometimes I don't. Sometimes I do other exercises - like yoga, sometimes I don't. I've learned that I do love to move. I am happier and have more energy. Yoga, especially restorative yoga, is my favorite. I also learned I love walking outside with other people, but listening to a podcast will work just as well. I have also learned that I don't super enjoy the elliptical machine (use that when it is too dang hot outside), but again, a podcast helps pass the time...and I love how many calories I burn from using the elliptical.

What I can't seem to get a handle on is my eating. 

I am all over the place. Too many sweets, not enough self-control...even when it comes to something semi-healthy like a bowl of soup. I overeat at almost every meal. I also eat too fast. 

The worst part about eating too fast? I swallow air and then have gas for the rest of the day. Ugh.

I also emotionally eat. Bad day, disappointing news, not feeling well, etc... I go for comfort foods - ice cream, chocolate, and lots of yummy carbs like mashed potatoes.

What I really want to learn is how to love eating the way I love to walk.

I have no idea how to do this.

So, the best I can come up with is combining a lot of the things that worked for me in the past: this blog, tracking on MyFitnessPal, and limiting how often I get (obvious) sugar.

But here is the thing...Sundays are completely free. I don't have to get up early, I don't have to walk, I don't have to blog, I don't have to track and I don't have to skip the family dessert.

I will weigh myself every Saturday. I will post my weight. This is kind of a big deal for me because I do not like telling people how much I weigh. It isn't a vanity thing. It is a "save myself from comments" thing. I would say stupid comments, but that might be a tad mean. Monday's post will be about this.

I might post my tracking. Haven't decided yet.

I will talk about my ups and downs, insights I have, things I have learned, and even ask for help/insights.

Thanks for taking this journey with me!

Thanksgiving 2020

I really like to post on Thanksgiving.

Two years since my husband's heart attack.

2020 has been...different. 

The good: 

My husband is working full-time remote.

I (think) I have the problem of chronic pain in my upper right jaw finally solved.

I spend most of 2020 walking... and discovering podcasts.

I discovered that organizing is a calming and relaxing activity for me.

I started therapy.

I started healing relationships.

The bad:

Despite my best efforts, I have gained weight instead of losing weight

The COVID-19 pandemic 

The presidential election

The ugly:

I find myself knotted up with angst and wanting to pick a fight

I broke up with my best friend, the honorary aunt to my children

And here I am, on Thanksgiving day wondering if I should go back to blogging my journey of health. Wondering if I will be more dedicated this time than I was last time...or the last two or three times. Wondering if I can make a permanent change in myself as I write about it.

I don't like being the person who constantly snacks on junk food Or the person who doesn't seem to have any self-control to eat goodies. 

I don't like being the person who only half-heartedly exercises. 

I really don't like being the person who can't tell if her aches and pains are from aging or being overweight. For the first time in my life, I am having issues shaving under my arms. I keep breaking out in rashes. The rashes are different each time, but a theme of "when someone gains weight problems can arise in the folds of their skin". bleh. Were all my rashes because I have gained weight? Or were they caused by poor shaving techniques? Or caused by exercising more and not showering fast enough after I sweated? Or just a random, no reason behind it, kind of thing?

And as I write, I can feel myself getting grumpier. Grumpy for not having all the answers and being the example everyone wants to follow. (yes, I am that vain) Grumpy because my family wants/needs my attention and Thanksgiving dinner won't cook itself. Grumpy because I am cramping and my periods have changed and this one has lasted way too long. Grumpy because I just really want to pick a fight and my poor husband came into our room and asked me one question. It was all I could do not to gripe at him. He did nothing wrong. He simply came in and bothered me. Bothered me when I am writing this out and wanting to hide from the world. 

I have no idea where this blog will go or how often I will write. 

So, I will simply say... "Happy Thanksgiving!"

The Year of...well, Me!

Happy New Year! 

Okay, so I am a month late. 

Here is the thing - we can actually decide whenever we want to start something new or improve on something or learn something new. We don't need a new year to prompt us into making changes.

I am declaring 2019 "The Year of Alisa". 

Sure, this theme might not work for all the people who are not named Alisa. I apologize to all of you. If, however, you are an Alisa than "Woohoo! This is your year!" Hahaha

All you Alisas out there - please take the time this year to focus on you. 

Focus on renewing your relationships with God, Jesus, your family and your friends. 

Focus on renewing your faith. 

Focus on renewing your health - even if all you do is walk more steps than you did the day before. 

Focus on renewing your joy and letting go of shame. 

Focus on renewing your service to others and recognize that service can be as simple as a smile (or making muffins for breakfast). 

Focus on your oxygen mask (see Mom's Night Out) and don't feel guilty because you chose to take the time to shower, shave and wash your hair. 

And finally, hug your family. every. single. day.

Good bye, 2018 - may I never live through you again.