Day 19: Sleep

In the past when I have attempted to make some form of exercise a part of my every day life I would find myself day-dreaming where I would be in a few months. I would envision myself look slim and trim. I could "see" myself being a die-hard exercise enthusiast with strength training, cardio and yoga. Sadly, I never envisioned myself doing the hard work to get to that point!

I have already caught myself a time or two having similar daydreams, but have been able to remind myself that it is the journey not the destination this time.

One of the things I have done every day is look for signs that I am on this journey for good. Walking when I didn't feel like it or when the children were under the weather were both great signs. I could hear my high school P.E. coach telling me that it was good for my body to run when I was sick...man, how I hated that man sometimes (although deep down, he was one of  my favorite teachers).

This morning, was the best "surprise" of this journey thus far.

When I woke up, I realized that I had slept through the night...no interruptions. It was pure bliss to wake up and know that I had made it through the night.

That might sound funny or odd, but I haven't slept well in years. First it was the 2am feedings and then it was sick children. Sometimes it was a cat who refused to behave less like a cat at 3am. And sometimes it was my own neurotic fears - every little sound inside and outside of the house would have me sitting bolt upright, sure there was an intruder in the house. Even Steve turning off his computer would wake up me up.

Not only am I not a morning person - seriously, I'm not. I really do need about an hour to myself before I can be nice. But I am also a person who needs a lot of uninterrupted sleep. A lot. I was the kid whose bedtime was 8pm well into high school because I just couldn't handle getting up early for school. And let me tell you - early morning seminary was a killer. In college, I ensured all of my classes started after 9am...well, except the one year that I had an early morning custodial job. Got up at 3am every day, ugh, I hated it, but I put all my classes back to back starting at 7am. By noon I was back at my dorm room and sleeping.

I am sure a big part of my weight problem, depression, anger, bad eating habits, acne prone skin and just all around blahs is that I have not gotten decent sleep since our last move. I really haven't. We have 3 levels - a basement, a main floor and a second floor. Our house is within spitting distance of our neighbors (sorry, couldn't think of a nicer way to put that). I can hear cars and doors and creaks all night long. I wake up to every single sound. Sometimes I even get up to once again ensure the house is locked up tight. Occasionally I lay in bed and whimper because all I want to do is sleep!

This morning was different. This morning, I couldn't remember waking up during the night. I couldn't remember noises or cats or husbands or children or anything. This morning, I realized that I actually slept through the night like a baby.

If walking every day gets me this kind of sleep the majority of the time then sign me up for life! (oh, wait...is that skipping the journey???)