Day 152: Could I have my own script writer?

I think we all have days where we just feel blah or not as happy with our looks/body...that was my day today.

More than likely it came from being up a little to late last night and working all day -  not the normal schedule, the "someone is coming to visit & I want my house to look better than it really does" schedule. Seriously, I need to get over that!

But I digress. Spent all days in my sports bra & sweats - not the best combination for feeling (or looking) my best.

What's more, for some reason, I mentally obsessed over my body & all its flaws. Not the best thing to do either. I am sure that came from the fact that I started off mentally packing for my up coming Chicago trip...which turned into a "everything is wrong with me" tirade. Trust me, this was all in my head so my children didn't have a clue...thank goodness.

I even ended up on some site that talked about which celebrities have had plastic surgery...not really sure how I got there, but there I was - shocked to learn which ones have had nose jobs.

So this got me thinking - no, not about a nose job. Heck, I am to chicken to get laser eye surgery (even though I would love to not wear glasses) - no way I am getting a nose job or any other form of plastic surgery! But what did get me thinking is how incredibly hard it is as a person to accept ourselves.

I mean, this is why Carol Tuttle's Dress Your Truth and Stacy London & Clinton Kelly's What Not To Wear are so dang popular. So many of us relate to the women who are featured in before & after photos or in the t.v. show - all of us, regardless of age, money and dress standards (as in how fashionable we are) - want to look our best, we want to look beautiful, be beautiful, feel beautiful.

Even before the dawn of television & movies, women beat themselves up. Yeah, we like to think there was a golden age where times were simple and people accepted themselves for who they were...not true. I am not going to attempt to do a history lesson, but women (and men) through out the ages have tried beauty treatments (& who knows what else) all in the vain attempt to be young & beautiful.

I mean this is not a modern day problem, it is just a problem. It would be nice to just shout "Stop It"! I don't it would work, because it doesn't always work on me.

Do I start wearing make up? Do I do extreme dieting and/or exercise? Do I follow every new fad to help me be my best?

Well, obviously, the answer is no.

The answer is what I have said all along - true beauty comes from within. We must love ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are and where we are at - and that comes from within. We must spend time every day with God & be reminded that we are His children.

So much easier to write that sentence than to actually do it.

So much easier to stare in the mirror & wonder why I still break out, why my breasts sag & why I can't lose weight as fast as I want (as in lose all 20 lbs by tomorrow morning)...and why I can't get a hair cut or put on a new outfit and look like someone else?!?!!!!

Don't get me wrong. I do love myself...just sometimes I wish I had a make up artist, and a photo shop artist, and the proper lighting on me at all times. I wish I knew what my best side was so I only showed that to the world. Heck, if we are dreaming, I wish I had a script writer so I always had the best answer & the day always ended on a perfect note.

But life doesn't work that way...so I will keep walking. I will keep trying on outfits & ask for feedback (the feed back helps soooo much!). I will keep finding ways to improve my eating habits. I will even find a way to go to bed on time & turn off the dang television...maybe even learn to limit my internet use. Hmmm.....that might be a good thing since I wasted too much time learning which stars had their nose done....

Happy Walking!